Feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world? You want to be a present parent, crush it at work, keep it fresh with your partner, call your bestie back and drink your water, BUT when you compartmentalize and be whoever you need to be to get the result, you end up exhausted. Say goodbye to the exhausting cycle of squishing yourself to fit in. Trade being contrived for exuding confidence, with the only sustainable solution for ambitious perfectionistic people. Plus hear about that one time CLG sharted in her jumpsuit🤣
On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to exude confidence in each + every part of your life and *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized
Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:
- Why compartmentalizing parts of yourself leads to burnout, disconnection and resentment in your relationships.
- How to be grounded and solid in who are, without the wishy-washy contorting yourself to meet external expectations.
- Giving yourself permission to experience joy without conditions
Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.
Perfectionism is very powerful. But only if you know how to leverage it. For more on optimizing your perfectionist tendencies go to perfectionist.solutions
[00:00:00] You are splintering off and you are compartmentalizing all of these different pieces of yourself
[00:00:04] and then you wonder why the fuck you're burning out.
[00:00:07] The why doesn't matter, like to trade being contrived for congruence, to trade being
[00:00:13] compartmentalized to being courageously yourself.
[00:00:17] So grounded and solid in who you are designed to be and not who the world tells you
[00:00:25] you need to be.
[00:00:27] If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning out, to lead without losing yourself
[00:00:32] and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create, then keep listening.
[00:00:37] I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG, and this is Perfectionism
[00:00:45] Rewired, the podcast.
[00:00:47] Welcome to Perfectionism Rewired, this episode about compartmentalization and what
[00:00:52] like in a professional and a personal sense and the solution to be the whole of who you
[00:00:58] are.
[00:01:00] For about 20 years in my role as a PR professional, cutthroat CLG senior vice president and
[00:01:08] head of public relations and publicity for Awesomeness and Studio 71 working with Gloria
[00:01:13] Steinem and The Rock and Pantone and Adobe and HP, especially being a bubbly
[00:01:20] and vivacious female, I was told that I needed to match who I was to the client in
[00:01:26] front of me or the adult in front of me.
[00:01:28] They said, you know, those girls that their boyfriend likes a motorcycle so they like
[00:01:33] motorcycles and they wear a leather jacket.
[00:01:34] They said, CLG, that's who you need to be.
[00:01:37] And I know and you know how exhausting it is to not be the whole of who you
[00:01:42] are when you are cutthroat and killer at your job.
[00:01:47] You turn your humanity off.
[00:01:48] I know I did.
[00:01:49] Icebox where my heart used to be and have no feelings because of the despicable things
[00:01:53] that I needed to cover up like Olivia Pope.
[00:01:57] That was me. And then you want to be around your kids, be like a present parent for
[00:02:02] them. And you do want to be a really good role model for the tiny humans in your
[00:02:06] life. And you also want to have loving partnerships and romance.
[00:02:12] You want to be vulnerable in like a sexy way.
[00:02:15] You want to be authentic and personable with your employees, with your peers.
[00:02:19] And when you think about that, you are splintering off and you are
[00:02:23] compartmentalizing all of these different pieces of yourself.
[00:02:26] And then you wonder why the fuck you're burning out.
[00:02:28] And it's because like congruence, which is another way of saying alignment,
[00:02:34] alignment can feel like you're being controlled, like there's your mind's
[00:02:38] ideal. And if you're not measuring up to these invisible expectations, then
[00:02:41] you're not aligned. So for now, I'm going to lean more towards congruence and
[00:02:46] meeting yourself where you're at.
[00:02:48] Your energy is no longer splintered or fractured because when it is splintered
[00:02:52] and fractured, you experience friction and you slow down.
[00:02:56] And for all of us that do this, one, it's not your fault.
[00:03:00] This was a safety mechanism when you were younger.
[00:03:03] Like, I know for me, I was the good girl and I did everything I needed to
[00:03:06] do. There are parts of you where, let's say if you had a parent where
[00:03:10] they were very emotional and so you weren't allowed to have emotions because
[00:03:14] your job was to make sure that everyone else was happy around you.
[00:03:17] The purpose isn't to figure out why if you want to like buy a beach house
[00:03:22] for a therapist, go and do that.
[00:03:24] But it really doesn't matter.
[00:03:26] The why doesn't matter. All that matters is that you recognize it and where
[00:03:29] you want to go from here and that you are so grounded and
[00:03:34] solid in who you are designed to be, not who the world
[00:03:39] tells you you need to be or to sort of like contort yourself
[00:03:44] to what you imagine the most desirable version of yourself is to the audience
[00:03:48] that you are in front of. When you're no longer compartmentalized,
[00:03:52] not only are you going to have a lot more energy, you're going to be a lot
[00:03:54] more magnetic, you're actually going to have a sex drive.
[00:03:57] It's the difference between having power over other people and
[00:04:01] empowering people.
[00:04:04] Like when you are all yourself, it is such a permission slip.
[00:04:08] It's such a permission slip because you don't need to worry about a scandal
[00:04:12] getting out. Like you don't do shady shit.
[00:04:14] You don't do shady shit because you are congruent with yourself.
[00:04:18] You're not doing anything that you're going to be like, quote, like shame
[00:04:21] doesn't live here. Do you know what I'm saying?
[00:04:24] It's like whatever. Like, yeah, maybe you have some moments you're not
[00:04:28] proud of, but like it like when I accidentally
[00:04:32] sharded my Stella McCartney pants at like a press conference, like,
[00:04:37] yeah, not going to put that on my home page.
[00:04:39] But I'm not mortified to talk about that because I think it was like
[00:04:44] trying keto or something.
[00:04:45] And like I thought it was going to be air and it was liquid.
[00:04:48] OK, stuff like that happens.
[00:04:51] And see that right there, what I just shared with you.
[00:04:55] Look at anyone that you find super cool in your life.
[00:04:59] Like for me, Jonathan Van Ness, Ru Paul, Dolly Parton,
[00:05:04] all of these people, the reason why we cherish them
[00:05:08] is for their sharding their pants story.
[00:05:11] Like what I just told you, maybe that'll be the title of this episode.
[00:05:13] But like that and the thing is we all have that
[00:05:16] and it doesn't need to be contrived.
[00:05:18] Like what I'm inviting you into is to trade being contrived
[00:05:22] for congruence, to trade being compartmentalized,
[00:05:26] to being courageously yourself, because no one can fuck with you
[00:05:31] when you're just yourself.
[00:05:33] There's nothing to be defensive about because you don't need to defend
[00:05:36] against anything because you are no longer at war with yourself.
[00:05:39] And if you are a leader that is listening to this, like, OK,
[00:05:44] CLG, you're speaking my language.
[00:05:47] Like when you are in front of a board of investors,
[00:05:50] like you're not able to fully be yourself.
[00:05:54] You know that you have splintered off certain things of yourself
[00:05:57] and you know that this is you if you are having adrenal issues,
[00:06:01] if you are having sleep issues, if you are having any sort of autoimmune.
[00:06:05] If right now it's Sunday night, if Sunday nights for you are miserable
[00:06:08] Monday Eve, that's because you're compartmentalizing yourself.
[00:06:12] Compartmentalization is for cowards.
[00:06:14] You are not a coward.
[00:06:15] You are brave as fuck.
[00:06:17] And anything that tells you anything different, let's work that shit out.
[00:06:20] If you are interested in that, you can apply to work with me
[00:06:25] by going to Courtney Love Gavin dot com slash contact.
[00:06:29] Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier
[00:06:34] than you have been led to believe.
[00:06:36] Whether you want to stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head
[00:06:38] or be joyfully present, ambitious again,
[00:06:42] you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork
[00:06:46] or hard work in perfectionism recovery.
[00:06:49] You need a framework that helps you understand
[00:06:52] and most importantly, rewire your perfectionistic
[00:06:55] habits from the inside out.
[00:06:57] It starts inside of perfectionism optimized.
[00:07:01] Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits,
[00:07:04] rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out
[00:07:08] what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns.
[00:07:12] This radically different, proven, proprietary approach helps you succeed
[00:07:18] by dropping the contempt and judgment that blocks change.
[00:07:22] Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world
[00:07:25] and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism
[00:07:30] instead of being owned by it.
[00:07:33] Head on over to Courtney Love Gavin dot com and start your transformation today.