Feeling Clenchy? Fascinating Connection Btwn Your Pelvic Floor + Perfectionism

[00:00:00] Being clenched impacts how you move through your days emotionally and how you deal with stress as it pops up. Like if you're already in clench mode, then you're already going to be on the defense or

[00:00:12] are you going to be like, what do they want? Oh my gosh, what's going wrong? If your stress button is on all the time, which is what is happening, like when you're clenching your pelvic floor,

[00:00:22] your organs are squeezing and tensing up. If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning to lead without losing yourself and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create, then keep listening. I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG,

[00:00:42] and this is Perfectionism Rewired, the podcast. Welcome to Perfectionism Rewired. Today we're talking about feeling clenchy and perfectionistic tendencies impact on your pelvic floor. By listening to this episode, you are going to be able to know if you're clenching symptoms that

[00:01:03] you might have thought were not related at all to your perfectionistic tendencies that maybe perhaps you've been misdiagnosed or you have not been able to find the solution that works for

[00:01:15] you. You're going to get some relief on this episode. You are also going to hear the amazing story of Molly who was diagnosed with osteoporosis, super, super stressed and thought that she had lost her

[00:01:29] sex drive forever. So you're going to hear from Molly and what being unclenched, what happened to her in her life. So let's get into it. Let's get unclenched. I came up with clenchy

[00:01:42] because I couldn't think of anything else that really described how I was feeling most of the time. When I was editing the first episode clenchy ever appeared in, I almost edited it out because I

[00:01:53] was like, I use the word clenchy, but no one else uses that word. And remarkably, clenchy resonates with so many of you like Molly who you will hear from in this episode and other perfectionism

[00:02:05] optimized clients. That is what brought them to me. They were like, when you talked about feeling clenchy, it was like, that's it. That's it. You finally were able to put words to what it was

[00:02:15] that I have been experiencing for so long. So if clenchy is you or maybe you think it might be you or you know someone that's clenched and you would like them become unclenched text in this

[00:02:26] episode being clenchy happens on a subconscious level. And when you've been in it for so long, this was me back before I rewired my perfectionism. I didn't realize that I was clenching all the time.

[00:02:40] Here are signs you might have some clenchiness that you would never guess of anything to do with perfectionism. Number one, if your bladder tends to leak when you laugh, jump on a trampoline,

[00:02:56] cough, sneeze or do jumping jacks. If your lower back hurts and your hips are always so tight. If you have trouble with intimacy and particularly orgasming, if pooping hurts, you're usually constipated. And I'm talking about like actually being constipated, not emotionally constipated,

[00:03:15] but you're backed up like you need assistance in that area. Next, if you have a tight neck, if your shoulders are hunched or crunched, if you are experiencing TMJ, if sex is painful,

[00:03:29] if you have pain down there, if you can't rest like even sleep isn't restful. A way that you know that you're clenching is when you're holding in your pee. If your body says that you need to go

[00:03:39] and you're just like holding it in, if you're really good at holding it in, I used to be really good at holding it in. Clenching, clenching, it is not working in your favor. If you can't

[00:03:49] sit still, you just feel like you're constantly that is clenchy. If any of these sound like you, I am here to help so that you can learn how to unclench yourself.

[00:04:01] First, I'm going to give you a quick primer on your pelvic floor. Your pelvic floor are the muscles at the very, very bottom of your pelvis. If you've heard of your pelvic floor before, it's probably

[00:04:13] in relation to pregnancy and childbirth, but everybody has a pelvic floor. It doesn't matter what you identify gender-wise. If you are a human being, you have a pelvic floor. Your pelvic floor is wrapped in fascia. Fascia, by the way, for those of you, if this is your

[00:04:29] first episode of Perfectionism Rewired, welcome. I am thrilled that you're here. Fascia is this really awesome system that everything in our body is encased in. Fascia is our internet. It's

[00:04:41] the Wi-Fi of our insides. This is one whole system that we are talking about. Fascia is in your pinky toe and fascia inside your mouth, around your tongue. What's so cool to think about is that right now,

[00:04:55] your fascia are talking to each other like your toes have communicated with your mouth. They've already communicated before that is even registered in your brain. Fascia communicates 15 times faster than your nervous system does. What skin is to touch and what eyes are to sight,

[00:05:11] fascia is to feeling and our emotions. There is a link in the show notes to an episode that gives you an introduction on what fascia is, where it lives in your body, and why it matters.

[00:05:27] It's actually from working with my former client, LeBron James, that I was turned on to the amazing world of our fascial fabric. Why we care about fascia in regards to your pelvic floor is the moment your physical person senses that something is off energetically, bad vibes,

[00:05:46] or emotionally where you're like, oh my gosh, my boss emailed me. I'm totally going to get fired. In that instant, we subconsciously clench our pelvic floor. It is a process that happens at

[00:06:00] a cellular level in our fascia way before it makes it up to our conscious mind because fascia communicates so fast before our brain is ever, ever cognizant of it. Being clenched impacts how

[00:06:13] you move through your days emotionally and how you deal with stress as it pops up. If you're already in clench mode, then you're already going to be on the defense or are you going

[00:06:24] to be like, what do they want? Oh my gosh, what's going wrong? When your pelvic floor is clenched, your organs can't go into the perfect puzzle piece that they're meant to go inside of yourself.

[00:06:36] Then you are cutting off your ability to actually feel awesome things and to enjoy pleasure. Most perfectionists don't realize they're clenching because it's subconscious. But also how much it's affecting your organs. When you're clenched, your gut is being clenched,

[00:06:52] your diaphragm and your lungs are being clenched, your heart is being clenched, your shoulders, your head, your neck, your jaw, your glands like your hormone health. Your body isn't able to distribute those as efficiently because you're clenched on the inside. And if you've made

[00:07:10] varsity as far as people pleasing overthinking, ruminating or pushing through, then the layers of fascia in your pelvic floor become glued down and fixed so that you are constantly clenched.

[00:07:27] It's not natural for you to be clenched all the time, and it makes it so that you are constantly clenched. When you're clenched, it also makes it so that the rest of your body is having to compensate for that clenchiness. Your whole system is working inefficiently. Most perfectionistic

[00:07:46] people, we are so out of touch with that because we're so in our heads. We hang out there all the time. We're very cerebral. We're mindy as I like to call it. We're clenchy and we're mindy.

[00:07:57] It's a huge reason why perfectionists, when they come to me in perfectionism, optimize my one-on-one coaching, they're like, I feel like I'm not connected to myself or I'm not connected to my partner or the intimacy isn't there. And it's really because you're so wound up

[00:08:13] and we don't even realize that it's subconscious, which brings me to Molly. So Molly came to me. She was diagnosed with osteoporosis, lower back pain, tight hips. She had been seen a personal

[00:08:25] trainer for over a year. Her nutrition was on point, but she's like, I'm holding on to this weight in my stomach and the strength in my core muscles is non-existent. She was having

[00:08:39] just a huge amount of stress about her family. She had no absolutely like no sex drive. She saw a lot of doctors, a lot of holistic people, therapists, et cetera, no relief. And she mentioned that when

[00:08:51] I talked about clenchy on this podcast, she really resonated with it. And by working with Molly on the five core things that help you become unclenched, which is you get back into your person, learning how to connect back to herself, peace from within, presence with yourself and

[00:09:13] with other people. And you're not eviscerating yourself or criticizing your partner, prosperity meaning that you're prospering, you're thriving, whether that's through gardening, whether that's through your career, whether that's through your legacy and then also playfulness.

[00:09:27] And through all five of those core pillars, Molly was able to unclench herself. She was able to relax and finally let go of the foreseen and trying to control everything in her life. She

[00:09:42] was able to get that strength back in her core. She reversed her osteoporosis, yes, that is happening, and she regained her sex drive, which she thought was long gone after just a few months. And it didn't come from bioidentical hormones or EMDR. It really came through the intimacy

[00:10:02] of her being able to be with herself and coaching, facilitating a very safe and structured environment for that to happen. What Molly wanted me to share with all of you on the podcast, I have

[00:10:17] a lot of friends and colleagues that talk about a lot of this stuff, but hadn't found anyone that gave the actual practical tools that were necessary. And she said, I love that you,

[00:10:29] you mean CLG, actually have this place where I can go and access anytime. She said it's like Netflix for perfectionists, except I don't have to sit in front of a screen. I can listen on the go.

[00:10:41] She's talking about the perfectionist solutions private podcasts that you get access to. So thank you, Molly, for sharing your story. And if you are listening to this and you are ready to put these concepts into action so that you can have such an amazing transformation that

[00:10:57] Molly has had and continues to see, then you want to go to CourtneyLoveGavin.com today. Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led to believe.

[00:11:10] Whether you want to stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or be joyfully present ambitious again, you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork or hard work in perfectionism recovery. You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly,

[00:11:27] rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out. It starts inside of perfectionism optimized. Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits, rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns. This radically different proven proprietary approach helps you succeed by dropping the

[00:11:52] contempt and judgment that blocks change. Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it. Head on over to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and start your transformation today.

[00:12:12] Molly is not an anomaly. Releasing the clenching inside has a ripple effect in the lives of perfectionism optimized clients because by being unclenched, you are no longer emotionally constipated, physically constipated. You are no longer unable to turn off your brain and you

[00:12:31] are actually able to be present and enjoy the journey of wherever the day takes you and truly relax instead of like being like everything needs to go according to the plan, needs to happen in this order. And then if something goes off track, like you lose your ish.

[00:12:45] If you want to truly develop the skills to de-stress, to be able to rest and relax, we got to look at the root of your stress response, which is not at the nervous system,

[00:13:00] it's at this level. Your pelvic floor. Another way to think about it is that your pelvic floor is your clenching on off button. It's like, okay, is my brain going to ruminate

[00:13:12] or I'm going to be able to be present here? And if your stress button is on all the time, which is what is happening, when you're clenching your pelvic floor, your organs are

[00:13:22] squeezing and tensing up. You're not going to be able to really even take as much as a deep breath. And because you're not able to take as much as a deep breath, your shoulders are

[00:13:33] going to become really tight. They're going to be up at your ears and you're going to have a hunch and maybe a little bit of a crunch, okay? Like your shoulders are really tight. And then

[00:13:40] your jaw becomes really tight. And even also the sutures of your skull, when you are subconsciously clenching, it's tightening up too. It's why we tend to develop migraines, by the way. That's another physical symptom that can be if you tend to have a lot of migraines.

[00:13:58] I used to have a ton of migraines before I started working on my fascia. It's not about doing kegels, kegels, whoever you pronounce them. It's not about having a tight pelvic floor. It's about having

[00:14:09] a resilient pelvic floor because in order to strengthen it, you need to lengthen it. You need to be able to expand or contract. It would just be like if your knee was always bent,

[00:14:23] it was always just really, really tight. Like you don't want to lock your knees and you also don't want to cut off the circulation. And that's what we're doing when we are clenching.

[00:14:33] We're all going to have stress. What we actually want to do and what you need to do, if you want to get unclenched is you need to have some practices. You need to have some tools.

[00:14:43] I like to call it your daily stress hygiene. It is like a daily internal exfoliation that you're doing with yourself. When you're doing this, you're releasing those old belief patterns that maybe we're perpetuating old experiences that you're done with. You're like,

[00:14:59] I'm tired of proving my worth. I'm tired of going 100 miles for everyone else because I feel like I'm going to die if someone doesn't like me. You're able to build that resilience, this stuff compounds and because that you are able to handle more, your capacity grows, you're able

[00:15:16] to evolve. Like you become a more evolved person because your physiology is evolved, your emotions have evolved energetically. Spiritually, you have evolved and when you have that liberation with you, you get that for the rest of your life. You get to take that with you

[00:15:37] for the rest of your life. I know many of you have been in the go, go, go so much that you're like, I'm clenching even when I'm sleeping. I'm so wound up and I want to let you know

[00:15:46] that it is not too late. It doesn't matter how old you are. You can have this connection. You can have the results like Molly. The amazing part about the way that I work and the framework

[00:16:00] that I've developed is that it works fast and it doesn't take a lot of time because I get it, you're busy. I am obsessed with efficiency and so this is really about how can you make yourself

[00:16:11] more efficient? How can you maximize your own efficiency? How can you support all of your systems? Because fascia is touching everything together, we're going to use it for enhancing every part of you. If this episode is resonating with you, if you are clenched and you want to get

[00:16:28] unclenched, if you want to put it into action and start to embody it, you understand it, you get it, but you actually want to do something to feel the shift then get a spotter. You need someone

[00:16:41] to be there with you so that you learn how to do it correctly and you don't do yourself any damage. Because if you try and do it on your own, it's going to cost you more in the long run. It's

[00:16:53] like if you had a pretty good house and you decided to just demo it yourself, it had really good bones and now those bones are all broken. Same thing. I have a whole framework that's available to you inside of perfectionism optimize my one-on-one coaching. Fascia is the

[00:17:09] Wi-Fi of our insides. When you get that fast Wi-Fi, your system gets to be upgraded. You're able to get things done more efficiently. You'll sleep deeper. You'll recover more quickly. Little things

[00:17:23] that used to drag you down are more just like blips on the radar. Also, what's truly amazing is that by you working with your fascia, by you unclenching yourself, you're also assisting your body in preventing cancer. When you have that sort of liberation within yourself,

[00:17:39] you're going to take that with you for the rest of your life. If you want to be liberated like today, like before the 4th of July, then go to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and apply to work with me today.

[00:17:54] Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led to believe. Whether you want to stop playing out worst-case scenarios in your head or be joyfully present ambitious again, you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork, or hard work in perfectionism

[00:18:13] recovery. You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly, rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out. It starts inside of perfectionism optimized. Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits, rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest

[00:18:32] way to figure out what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns. This radically different proven proprietary approach helps you succeed by dropping the contempt and judgment that blocks change. Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world, and feel truly empowered

[00:18:53] to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it. Head on over to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and start your transformation today.