Take the overwhelm out of perfectionism, starting today with the one SKILL SET you’ve never been taught. #truthbooth it’s the only skill set that’ll save you from a life that feels frustrating - like you’re always chasing happiness. Because when you put yourself in charge of your internal world and remove overwhelm- the way you show up in the world shifts. Like you're no longer snapping at your partner or seizing up with anxiety when looking at your email.
On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to exude confidence in each + every part of your life and *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized
Listen To The Full Episode To Learn:
- Why Outsourcing Increases Overwhelm For Perfectionists
- What you Gain by Developing resilience and inner calm instead of depending on control
- How to Feel Amazing Right Now - No More Overthinking or Doubting
Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.
Perfectionism is very powerful. But only if you know how to leverage it. For more on optimizing your perfectionist tendencies go to perfectionist.solutions
[00:00:00] Instead of not hearing back on an email and overthinking it, checking your email every five minutes, being on edge, rethinking everything that you said, asking other people what they thought, trying to figure out instead of doing that, you move in right along. Okay? Like you're enjoying
[00:00:16] your life. If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning out, to lead without losing yourself and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create then keep listening. I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG. And this is Perfectionism Rewired, the podcast.
[00:00:38] Welcome to Perfectionism Rewired. Today we are talking about outsourcing. Why? It is ineffective for perfectionists. We're going to start with a story. This is a story of vintage CLG. So going to the pharmacy for the first 30 plus years of my life used to have me deeply, deeply
[00:01:02] relating to the women on snap. I would think to myself, this is the reason why the show snapped exists. The people, the line, the inefficiencies. It made it so that picking up or dropping off
[00:01:22] a prescription would completely ruin my day. I would have anticipatory anxiety before I went there while I was there and then after it, especially if I forgot to look inside the bags and like
[00:01:42] confirm that the kid's medication was correct. And so that would fuel to the fire because you messed up and you had an ADHD moment. Now you have to go back there and it's going to be even
[00:01:55] worse. And they're going to be thinking this and just like all of this super toxic thinking and behaviors around the experience of going to the pharmacy. And so what did vintage CLG do? Well, I hired a personal assistant. Problem solved. At that point, I had outsourced
[00:02:17] putting gas in the car, cooking, cleaning, doing my hair. I had pretty much outsourced everything that I could, which as we know, when you are a driven type A perfectionist who has yet
[00:02:33] to be rewired, I would do that to like air quotes fill up my time. But then of course, it would get filled with something else. Like I was never making pasta by hand,
[00:02:44] with my tiny humans at home or finally learning how to weave on a loom. That wasn't happening. I had a personal assistant who was on it for the pharmacy, except guess what happened?
[00:02:57] I was still freaking the f out inside when other things didn't go to the expectations that I had or the ideal that I had in my mind or the way that I can clearly see how it can go so
[00:03:13] much better. How you do one thing is how you do everything, meaning that the neurological pathways inside your person, specifically inside your nervous system, which your brain is part of, those are still the same roads that you are operating on. I needed to control everyone
[00:03:33] and everything in my orbit in order to feel calm ish. Like if all the dishes weren't put away and out of the dishwasher, if anything was left out, if it looked like humans live here,
[00:03:49] instead of a pristine museum, this is just one example, I wouldn't really be able to feel calm. It'd be like, hold on, yeah, let's have sex but I needed to dust the headboard first. Legit.
[00:04:01] Because if not, I would just be looking at it and like, uh. Fast forward to today, guess what? I can go to the pharmacy by myself without wanting to set people on fire.
[00:04:14] I can stand in that long ass line with the person in front of me who is listening to YouTube on their speakerphone at full volume with all of the sensory stimulation around me
[00:04:30] sands a device to entertain me because of course it's a dead zone inside my local pharmacy in Santa Monica. I can legitimately be chill, like really chill, not like pretending I'm chill
[00:04:45] but just like chill. How? How was I able to do this? Drugs, just kidding, no. It's because I developed my Epic skills, my embodied present interoceptive connection skills, which is just a fancy way of saying I am attuned to and present with myself in the moment and
[00:05:08] like my body so that I'm not already at like 90% overwhelmed when I go places. I do the things that seem totally unrelated that put me back in my resilient zone like drinking water, clothes. I feel confident and comfortable in and aren't cutting off my circulation in any way.
[00:05:32] And when I do have those many, many, many, many moments throughout the day of emotions, I don't trash compact them. I don't just push them down inside of me. I work through them. Processing your emotions is not a four-hour thing. It can be less than a four-minute thing.
[00:05:54] It doesn't require worksheets or crystals or going on a run or an Epson salt bath or the call map. Like it doesn't require any of that. You can do it without any dependencies or anything
[00:06:09] like outside of you. I go into this extensively when you are a private one-on-one coaching client inside of perfectionism optimized and when you take those tiny and mighty moments for yourself like 15 seconds, 30 seconds, then you don't have this backlog of stress so that like it
[00:06:31] wasn't the pharmacy. It was because I was so overwhelmed and so stressed all the time. My coping skills for that were perfectionistic habits that were in charge of me instead of me being in charge of them like people pleasing, overthinking, ruminating, catastrophizing,
[00:06:47] white-nuckling it, etc. That pushing through, it works in the short term but as you have realized or you are realizing because you're listening to this podcast and this episode in particular, what used to work is no longer working. You have elevated and upgraded yourself
[00:07:08] and your tools aren't there anymore. It's just a matter of updating and upgrading your tools, tools you can employ and that you use so often pattern interrupting and building new neural pathways for you internally which is essentially building new muscle memory so that instead
[00:07:29] of not hearing back on an email and overthinking it, checking your email every five minutes, being on edge, rethinking everything that you said, asking other people what they thought, trying to figure out instead of doing that, you move in right along. Okay, like you're
[00:07:44] enjoying your life. Literally like no one taught us how to do all of that. That is why perfectionist solutions exist because I could not find anything. There's still nothing else in existence that actually addresses the very specific and nuanced needs that you have as
[00:08:02] a person with a perfectionistic brain. When you work with me, it's not hard work, it's not guesswork, it just plain works. It is not white-nuckling it, it is not getting rid of your perfectionism and it is not following someone else's recipe for resilience. What we really
[00:08:17] need most especially as perfectionists is to remember you are allowed to be a human. We are not robots, we are humans and I would really like to live in a world that remembers that,
[00:08:30] don't you? I want that for all of my tiny humans. That's why perfectionism rewired is free and available to you and there is no paywall. However, if you would like to support the Perfectionism Wired podcast, share this episode with someone that you think would
[00:08:46] really benefit from it just like shoot them a text. You don't even need to say anything except maybe you're welcome. The reason why I'm able to choose what my experience will be and to be
[00:08:56] really intentional is because of upgrading my tools and learning this one skill of being able to be intentional, the compounding effect of all of these micro skills that are underneath it, it's worth its weight in gold because you no longer have to buy a shortcut to avoid something.
[00:09:20] Vintage CLG, I had the resources financially to hire a bunch of people but then I was dependent on all those people and then there were still, it's like that quote, you can't outsource your push-ups,
[00:09:32] you can't hire someone else to have your internal experience. What we all know is that it doesn't matter what things look like on the outside or what you achieve, when you get there it's not going to make you feel any better. The secret, which isn't really a
[00:09:45] secret because I talk about it on every episode is that you can feel as amazing as your life looks on the outside now. You don't need to wait for anything and if seemingly little things throw
[00:10:00] you off your game, I can show you a far superior solution than outsourcing it, avoiding it, dreading it or white-knuckling it. You will know how to handle anything and everything that comes your way, which means that you will stop people pleasing, you will stop dancing around the truth,
[00:10:20] you will stop ignoring boundaries, you will stop overthinking, you will stop catastrophizing, you will stop ruminating, you will stop running over yourself, you will stop white-knuckling, you will stop compartmentalizing, you will stop spinning out, you will stop doubting
[00:10:35] yourself, you will stop taking it out on your partner and you'll start doing all the amazing things that you want to do. This is what I help perfectionism optimize private one-on-one clients
[00:10:46] to you every day. I invite you to apply to work with me by going to CourtneyLoveGavin.com slash optimized. The relief that you are searching for is available now. You will feel it the moment you sign on to work with me as a private one-on-one coaching client.
[00:11:05] So go to CourtneyLoveGavin.com slash contact to apply today. Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led to believe. Whether you want to stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or be joyfully present ambitious again,
[00:11:24] you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork or hard work in perfectionism recovery. You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out. It starts inside of perfectionism optimized. Besides the obvious mental health
[00:11:44] and wellness benefits, rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns. This radically different proven proprietary approach helps you succeed by dropping the contempt and judgment that blocks change. Discover how to
[00:12:04] trust yourself, take control of your world and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it. Head on over to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and start your transformation today.