High Performance ANXIOUS: Building Resilience + Calming Internal Chaos

[00:00:00] If you are a perfectionist that tends to be an overachiever and type A and driven, you

[00:00:06] have probably noticed by now achieving and winning and accomplishing things.

[00:00:11] It doesn't give you the same high on the inside like, oh, that feels good as it used to.

[00:00:17] In fact, maybe a lot of you go to the next level because you think, oh, this is going

[00:00:21] to feel so good.

[00:00:22] I just need to get there.

[00:00:23] I just need to get there.

[00:00:24] And then you get there and you don't feel anything.

[00:00:27] And you feel worse about that because you're like, man, I sacrificed so much and I like

[00:00:32] did so much because I thought I was going to feel this way.

[00:00:35] And now I don't.

[00:00:36] And now I feel even worse.

[00:00:37] I feel like I should be feeling this way and everyone around me is feeling really happy.

[00:00:40] So what's wrong with me?

[00:00:42] Sound familiar if it does, you are in the right place.

[00:00:46] If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning out to lead without losing yourself

[00:00:51] and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create, then keep listening.

[00:00:56] I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG.

[00:01:02] And this is perfectionism rewired the podcast.

[00:01:06] Welcome to perfectionism rewired.

[00:01:08] This episode is actually from the private podcast for clients inside of perfectionism

[00:01:14] optimized, the only place where type A driven perfectionistic people and perfectionists

[00:01:19] permanently rewire and quit fighting against themselves forever.

[00:01:24] I am sharing it with you in celebration of my birthday this week on April 13th.

[00:01:32] And also because all of the internal chatter is something that most perfectionists don't

[00:01:39] even realize keeps us from actually being able to evolve and to stop catastrophizing

[00:01:46] and ruminating and obsessing over every mistake and also only being able to see the mistakes,

[00:01:52] only being able to see the flaws or doing something amazing and then it comes that, yeah,

[00:01:58] but or even being so uncomfortable in celebration of yourself.

[00:02:03] You feel like there is a lot of desperation, like I just need to escape this perfectionism

[00:02:08] man, yet you repeatedly make the same unuseful choices.

[00:02:14] This used to be me by the way.

[00:02:16] While I hired my first coach, I spent like three years thinking about her.

[00:02:22] I was like, why am I telling myself that I can't afford it?

[00:02:25] The amount of money that I would invest to go on vacation in a year,

[00:02:30] it was a lot less than what my first coach was.

[00:02:32] And when I thought about it, I'm like, yeah, it sounds cool to be like,

[00:02:36] I went to Greece and I went here and we have all these pictures.

[00:02:39] And yeah, there's like memories.

[00:02:40] But like when I came back, I'm not feeling any better.

[00:02:43] It wasn't helping me in my day today with like kids or colleagues or with my family

[00:02:48] or how I felt about myself and like my overall momentum.

[00:02:52] Like I would have a temporary high and it would mainly just be a relief.

[00:02:55] But then, you know, you'd go on vacation and then that same stuff would come up

[00:02:59] and then you feel even worse because you're like, oh my gosh, I am in Greece.

[00:03:03] And I have like the most beautiful view ever.

[00:03:06] It's just like pure blue, beautiful, beautiful ocean in front of me.

[00:03:11] And all I'm thinking about is how I haven't completely unpacked yet.

[00:03:18] And are the kids wearing enough sunscreen?

[00:03:20] I don't even have a moment of peace when I'm in the most peaceful place on the planet.

[00:03:24] What's wrong with me?

[00:03:26] Maybe you relate to that.

[00:03:28] So if you are thinking, I want to set an example for my kids, for my family,

[00:03:33] I don't want to live in fear anymore because living in fear isn't really being alive.

[00:03:37] There's one thing to be, OK, I'm living like it's fine.

[00:03:40] And there's another thing to be pulsating aliveness.

[00:03:43] And like I call it the difference between living in black and white and living in color.

[00:03:47] If you want to live into color, get out of your own way.

[00:03:52] Stop letting people pleasing, catastrophizing, ruminating, being a scared of failure,

[00:03:57] judging the shit out of yourself and all the other perfectionistic patterns

[00:04:03] that are holding you back in some way.

[00:04:05] If you want to actually do something that is scientifically proven

[00:04:09] and that will change your whole life, like every aspect of your life,

[00:04:14] your relationship, your eating, your sleeping, your career,

[00:04:19] like every every area of your life like will up level and just like,

[00:04:24] woo, it's going to be good.

[00:04:26] Then I invite you to apply today to perfectionism optimized.

[00:04:32] I don't have that much more space.

[00:04:34] So if this is something that you're thinking about, if you've been

[00:04:36] twine with it, like get on it.

[00:04:38] OK, and enjoy today's episode.

[00:04:42] Why I'm coming to private clients on our private podcast, you know,

[00:04:48] this information that only you are privy to as a private client,

[00:04:52] get behind the scenes with this quick hit right now is that

[00:04:56] I feel like I used the word private too much.

[00:04:59] And I'm thinking of Howard Stern earlier today.

[00:05:03] My anxiety was at a high level.

[00:05:07] It's an odd slash cool experience when your person can be experiencing

[00:05:14] like sweating and my heart rate and sensory sensitivity.

[00:05:20] I'm like, my bra's too tight.

[00:05:22] And at the same time, the other part of me is really calm.

[00:05:27] I did not enjoy what was happening on the inside, but it was like,

[00:05:30] OK, I know what's happening here.

[00:05:33] I'm using my interoceptive skills, doing lots of LSD, laughter,

[00:05:38] singing and dancing and realized earlier today that's the way

[00:05:44] I used to feel all the time, like all the time I would be in this like

[00:05:49] this high anxious slash.

[00:05:52] I just thought this is just me like ready to go over the day.

[00:05:55] And I would be there like all day.

[00:05:58] I realized that maybe some of you might be feeling how like I used to feel all the time.

[00:06:03] And I just wanted to share with you if I can do it, you can too.

[00:06:07] Meaning that like it's not that the perfectionist tendencies in the anxiety.

[00:06:13] It's not that any of that actually goes away.

[00:06:17] What happens is you get stronger.

[00:06:19] Maybe you've experienced that or you see something that as a kid, it seems so big.

[00:06:25] And then you're there as an adult and you're like, oh, this is what it was.

[00:06:29] Why? Because we grew, we got bigger, we got stronger, we got more resilient.

[00:06:36] And that's what happens with you at times when we're in the victim triangle,

[00:06:41] we might feel like we want some of these perfectionist tendencies to go away.

[00:06:44] You know what I mean?

[00:06:45] It's like those things come up and it's like I wish that I was average.

[00:06:48] I wish that I didn't care this much.

[00:06:50] I wish I didn't have this many ideas, which I don't actually wish that.

[00:06:54] I just know that like I'm tired.

[00:06:57] See, this is the other part of interoception is that like I don't make

[00:07:01] my temper tantrums mean anything because those spidey skills that you get,

[00:07:07] you just know your signs.

[00:07:09] You're able to hear your signals throughout the noise.

[00:07:12] Like when you have interoceptive awareness, you know how to instantly

[00:07:16] calm yourself on the spot no matter where you are, no matter how extreme the stress.

[00:07:22] Like you can break free.

[00:07:25] I want you to imagine this for yourself because it is 100 percent possible and

[00:07:28] inevitable, you can break free of burnout, frustration and to stop letting

[00:07:34] other people or like petty things control your mood.

[00:07:37] Like you don't have all that negative self-talk that's like, look at me

[00:07:41] you know going all the time and you actually can create emotional poise

[00:07:47] and not because you're numbing yourself or you're smiling and

[00:07:49] pretending that it doesn't matter.

[00:07:51] I would like I would have all the apps and I would I would buy all the things

[00:07:55] that were supposed to help all the biohacking tools and like I did everything

[00:07:59] I was supposed to do and I was just so confused.

[00:08:01] I just want to let you know that like I see you, you're not alone.

[00:08:04] I'm here for you.

[00:08:06] You can text me anytime that phone.

[00:08:09] I have impeccable boundaries and the agreement that we have is that

[00:08:14] you ask for support.

[00:08:16] You request support when and if you want it.

[00:08:21] We're not about need around here.

[00:08:22] It's about one.

[00:08:23] OK, take care.

[00:08:24] Bye. Listen up.

[00:08:26] Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led

[00:08:31] to believe whether you want to stop playing out worst case scenarios in your

[00:08:35] head or be joyfully present ambitious again.

[00:08:39] You don't need more rigid rules, guesswork or hard work in perfectionism recovery.

[00:08:45] You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly,

[00:08:50] rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out.

[00:08:54] It starts inside of perfectionism optimized.

[00:08:58] Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits,

[00:09:01] rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out

[00:09:05] what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns.

[00:09:09] This radically different proven proprietary approach helps you succeed

[00:09:14] by dropping the contempt and judgment that blocks change.

[00:09:18] Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world

[00:09:22] and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it.

[00:09:30] Head on over to Courtney Lovegavin.com and start your transformation today.