Can’t Stop Ruminating? Here's Why

[00:00:00] Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led to believe. Whether you want to stop playing out worst-case scenarios in your head or be joyfully present ambitious again, you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork, or hard work in perfectionism recovery. You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly rewire your

[00:00:25] perfectionistic habits from the inside out. It starts inside of Perfectionism Optimized. Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits, rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns. This radically different, proven, proprietary approach helps you succeed by dropping the contempt and judgment

[00:00:50] that blocks change. Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world, and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it. Head on over to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and start your transformation today. If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning out, to lead without losing yourself, and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create,

[00:01:18] then keep listening. I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG, and this is Perfectionism Rewired, the podcast. Welcome to Perfectionism Rewired. In the last episode, episode 249, I walk you through an in-depth example of where perfectionists use their brain wrong, what that

[00:01:43] looks like. This episode is the why. Why is it that the perfectionistic brain doesn't take in new information and fails to learn to predict better? This is the third episode in our scientific series on the perfectionist brain's remarkable ability to navigate and interpret the world. The first episode

[00:02:09] in this series is episode 248. We covered the power of words. The second episode in the series is episode 249, where we talked about how the brain works in predictions, not reactions. Links to both of those episodes in the show notes. This episode, like every episode of Perfectionism Rewired, provides you with

[00:02:36] potent and practical guidance by asking healthy questions and sharing the proven answers with you instead of just giving an advice or surface level solutions. So let's get into it. Before we get into why the perfectionistic brain doesn't take in new information and fail to predict better, let's start with predictions. Predictions help us, by us I mean humans, predictions help us make sense of the world

[00:03:05] around us in a quick and efficient way. Your brain is constantly predicting how people will react to you, what's possible for your future, whether something will be easy or hard. And all of these predictions, your brain bases them on past experiences, not the actual truth. You want to think of your view of the

[00:03:30] world. It's not a photograph. It's not like, okay, this is what's actually happening. And that is what you're actually perceiving. It's something that your brain has constructed and it is so mega convincing. It appears to be accurate even when it's not. So how do we make sure that the predictions our brain is issuing are correct so that we are perceiving the world more accurately and truthfully?

[00:03:58] How your brain does that is it tests its predictions by comparing them to your incoming sensory data. Your brain is just like a scientist where it is comparing its hypothesis against the data. When your brain is predicting awesomely, the sensory data that it receives confirms your predictions as

[00:04:21] correct. When there's a discrepancy between what is actually happening and what your brain predicted to happen, your brain experiences a prediction error. It's easy to think about this as the presence of something that you didn't predict or the absence of something that you did predict. Here's a real life

[00:04:46] example to illustrate this for you. If you are a coffee drinker, you have probably experienced the one day that you don't have coffee, you get a headache. Why is it that you get a headache? Because the answer is your brain has learned that specific sensory data, like the smells, where you are, time of day, you drink coffee.

[00:05:11] And coffee has chemicals in it that constrict your blood vessels. Your brain requires constant blood flow. As CEO, chief efficiency officer, it's your brain's job to most efficiently regulate your internal systems so that you can stay alive and well. It's like we can't have anything constricting this.

[00:05:35] So what does your brain do? Your brain dilates your blood vessels right around the time you usually drink coffee. It does it right before. Your brain is predicting your blood vessels are about to be constricted so it dilates them. Your blood continues to flow at the most efficient levels. But that one day

[00:06:02] you don't drink coffee, your brain has issued a prediction that coffee is coming. So your blood vessels dilate and you get a headache. What you're experiencing is a prediction error. There's a discrepancy between what is actually happening and what your brain predicted to happen. Your brain predicted that you would be drinking coffee and the absence of the coffee results in you experiencing

[00:06:32] a headache. Prediction errors are teaching signals for your brain. It's how learning works at the scientific level. When your brain experiences a prediction error, there are two paths that it can take. Path number one, your brain takes in the discrepancy so that it changes its prediction for next time and you

[00:06:56] actually predict better. This is called learning. Path number two, your brain goes with its original prediction. It doesn't take in the new information. It ignores the prediction error. That path number two is where perfectionists use their brain wrong. In the last episode, episode 249, I walk you through an

[00:07:24] in-depth example of what that looks like. This episode is the why. Why does the perfectionist brain not take in new information and fail to learn to predict better? Every tool can become a weapon. Perfectionism rewired is a tool. I gotta ask you to not weaponize it. For this episode, it means knowing that there's never one reason and that you do not judge. I'm going to be walking you through

[00:07:53] six answers to the question of why is it that the perfectionistic brain doesn't take in new information and fails to learn to predict better. As I go through these six, it's not going to be just one. And when you notice these patterns in yourself, you're like, oh yeah, totally do this. The important

[00:08:17] thing to do is to not judge, not chastise yourself, not make yourself wrong. Okay? So let's start with reason number one, why the perfectionist brain doesn't take in new information and fails to learn to predict better. High levels of stress. Chronic stress interferes with the perfectionistic brain's

[00:08:39] ability to process new information and adapt predictions. What this looks like is you become insensitive to the context of the situation that you're in. You are trapped in your head with your own thoughts. If you feel that you can't turn your brain off, that is a sign you are experiencing this. When you have high levels of stress, you are trapping your perfectionistic brain in its predictions.

[00:09:09] It's not going to update and it's not going to be able to learn from the prediction errors. Why? Because learning is too expensive to your person accounts. Chronic stress also impacts your neuroplasticity, making it harder to adapt. This contributes to a rigid cognitive state. Reason number two is cognitive rigidity. When this occurs, the perfectionistic brain has

[00:09:39] a surprising resistance to new information. Your brain sticks to old patterns and it fails to adjust its predictions even when it is presented with very obvious evidence that contradicts your original predictions. You get stuck repeating a pattern that might have once been useful for survival,

[00:10:03] but that prediction is crushing your ability to empower yourself today. Reason number three, you are always steering clear of experiences where you feel uncomfy. What I often see it look like with perfectionists is you are sticking to what you're excellent at. You are obsessed with the

[00:10:27] specific order of events. You are always researching reviews before you try anything new. You are rereading an email 22 times before you hit send, etc. Now, when you avoid uncomfy experiences, you rob yourself

[00:10:47] of the skill of knowing when being uncomfy is actually useful. This results in your brain failing to adapt to unexpected outcomes because you never give yourself an opportunity to experience them. This shuts off the essential brain function of learning from surprises and being able to discern the discrepancies between

[00:11:14] what you expected to happen and what actually happened. Reason number four is for a perfectionistic brain, your prediction error signal can be amplified, which means even teeny tiny discrepancies between your predictions and reality can trigger these frighteningly strong sensory signals. For example,

[00:11:43] if you tend to hyper fixate or are hyper vigilant, like you are constantly scanning for potential threats, this leads to exaggerated sensory signals to even minor and minuscule changes in your environment. Also, if you have a difficulty in resting or relaxing because your brain is constantly on alert for

[00:12:08] potential threats. When you do this, your interoceptive receptors become even more noisy than usual. And as a consequence, your brain straight up ignores the sensory data. Like your brain doesn't even get a chance to compare its predictions to what actually happened. And this leaves you open to a whole lot of

[00:12:34] uncertainty and a lot of prediction errors that you are unable to resolve. How this plays out is like your partner said something playful to you, but you predicted that it would be an insult. So you replied meanly, defensive. Now you guys are in the middle of a fight. Reason number five is that your range of

[00:12:59] possible predictions is eclipsed by the extremes of a spectrum. This is also called black and white thinking. When you're focused on two potential ways that something can be and one or both of them seems bad, the new information that doesn't fit this prediction is ignored. And the new information that fits your view

[00:13:27] gets amplified. Over time, you develop a neural pathway of seeing most things in your life as a dichotomy of extremes. Either everything goes exactly as planned or it's a complete disaster. Either you get every single thing right or you're an utter failure. You perceive the world around you as a series of

[00:13:53] inescapable dilemmas. And it blinds you to seeing any other alternatives. Why this matters to a perfectionistic brain is because the more possible predictions your brain can make and the more your brain can tailor those predictions to the situation, the better your odds are at making the correct,

[00:14:18] most useful prediction. But if your brain can only make one or two predictions, which is what happens with black and white thinking, it's like at the extreme ends of a spectrum, your brain only has two options. It only has two possible predictions to go with. Reason number six is certain features from your

[00:14:40] past experiences, the ones that you never, ever want to happen again. Your brain is always wanting to prepare for them to make sure that they don't happen. These features your brain associates with danger. Even if this experience only occurred once or twice in your entire life, your brain perceived

[00:15:05] it in a significant life-threatening way. Let's just say that these features of your experience are a sinking feeling in your chest and doing something you care about. This occurred in a significant life-threatening way for you when you were 16 years old and you were trying out for the junior Olympics rowing team and you made

[00:15:28] a mistake and you got cut. Being an Olympian rower was your dream since you were four years old. You've been practicing this for your whole life. Your life revolved around rowing. You didn't go to school. You had a private tour. Your parents were driving you everywhere. And after you got cut, your parents yelled at you and you beat yourself up and you ended up in this deep depression and the entire course of your life

[00:15:56] changed. Okay? Anytime those features appear, you doing something that you care about and a heavy feeling in your chest, your perfectionist brain is going to hyperfixate on that and it's going to predict a threat. Like a threat is coming. Even in situations where it's highly unlikely to appear. So let's say that

[00:16:22] sinking feeling in your chest appears while you're writing an email to your boss doing something you care about. And your brain is still predicting that shit's about to go down. Like brace yourself, danger is imminent. Your perfectionistic brain is selecting certain features and weighing them

[00:16:45] as important while attempting to predict what catastrophe is about to happen. Your brain is making predictions that don't fit the situation you're in. Why does this happen? Your brain's not updating its predictions so that it learns those features of your experience, doing something you

[00:17:11] care about, sinking feeling in your chest. Your brain isn't learning that those aren't actually predictive of a threat in 99% of circumstances. I see this with a lot of perfectionists who have an immense fear of failure or go out of their way to not make a mistake. Or when they happen to make a mistake,

[00:17:39] it feels fatal. They have a lot of failure fragility. What all six of these have in common? is a perfectionistic brain with a low tolerance for uncertainty that's clumsy at crafting predictions to match what's actually happening. And it fails to learn when there's a mismatch. Like, okay,

[00:18:08] I'm just making these wild predictions that are not matching reality. And then your perfectionistic brain isn't learning from it. Bottom line, the TLDR answer to why the perfectionistic brain doesn't take in new information and fail to predict better is that your brain hasn't updated yet.

[00:18:33] Your predictions, they're not distorting reality. Okay? Like, they are your reality. And you can't overcome, I'm using air quotes here, you can't overcome predictions through thinking, meditation, or any sort of therapy. You have to change your predictions. And that's what changes your reality for real and forever. Changing your predictions is one thing that we do together inside private one-on-one

[00:19:03] coaching. When you learn how to change your predictions and practice changing them, your brain teaches itself to create new experiences out of the same sensory data. Your brain learns to create new predictions emotions out of, I'm doing something I care about, and I have a sinking feeling in my chest. Right? Like, like,

[00:19:32] maybe you have some heartburn. This skill of creating new experiences out of the same sensory data. By same sensory data, I mean that the situation is exactly the same. Like, nothing has changed. It's the exact same sensory data. This is a skill that you develop. And the reason why you want to develop this skill

[00:19:56] is that it's a skill that you can use to give your nervous system a break when it really needs one. When you are in the throes of chaos or a catastrophe, or you have so much anxiety, or you're in an experience where you feel overwhelmed. Wink, wink. Before we get into how you can change your predictions, we need to first

[00:20:24] cover what determines your capacity for updating your brain and rewiring your patterns. And that is what we're going to get into in the next episode, episode 251. Until then, take care. Bye. Listen up. Taking charge of your perfectionism is so much easier than you have been led to believe. Whether you want to stop playing out worst-case scenarios in your head or be joyfully present

[00:20:52] ambitious again, you don't need more rigid rules, guesswork, or hard work in perfectionism recovery. You need a framework that helps you understand and most importantly, rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out. It starts inside of perfectionism optimized. Besides the obvious mental health and wellness benefits, rewiring your perfectionism is the fastest way to figure out

[00:21:20] what's really underneath your perfectionistic patterns. This radically different, proven, proprietary approach helps you succeed by dropping the contempt and judgment that blocks change. Discover how to trust yourself, take control of your world, and feel truly empowered to own your perfectionism instead of being owned by it. Head on over to CourtneyLoveGavin.com and start your transformation today.