How Can I Stop Comparing Myself
January 30, 2025
246
00:23:45

How Can I Stop Comparing Myself

Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you’ve taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

 

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-Why self comparison tactics fail perfectionists
01:41-The hidden costs of comparing yourself
06:31-Recognize self comparison as a type of self punishment.
10:11-Why intellect isn't enough to rewire perfectionist tendencies
12:13-Developing skill sets over gathering knowledge
15:00-Why it's scientifically harder for perfectionists to stop unhealthy self-comparison
16:08-Acceptance vs. judgment in rewiring perfectionism
18:00-What Silver vs. bronze medalists show us about comparing yourself to others
21:30-Choosing growth over fear of failure

 

Resources Mentioned In Episode 246:

 

Citations/Sources:

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138

Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614

Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009


Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

Perfectionism is very powerful. But only if you know how to leverage it. For more on optimizing your perfectionism go to courtneylovegavin.com

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