Being Productive With Your Thinking

[00:00:00] Hello! Before we start today's episode, if you would like a condensed version of what I'm talking about in this podcast, go ahead and subscribe to The Perfectionist Guide, you can read the entire thing in three minutes or less. To access this, go to perfectionist solutions slash newsletter.

[00:00:23] Are you a bit of a perfectionist, type A, hyper performer? Then you know that having the audacity to see an ideal and bring it into reality while breaking generational habits of hustle can be tough but it doesn't have to be. If you are ready to burn bright instead of burning out, to lead without losing yourself, and to enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create then keep listening.

[00:00:50] I'm your host, America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, CLG, and this is Perfectionism Rewired, the [00:01:00] podcast. Welcome to Perfectionism Rewired this is episode number 69. Today we are talking about facts and thought. Truth and stories our brains like to tell us and how you can approach this with utility to serve you in your life.

[00:01:16] *The reason why this is a BFD is because why you are not creating the results you want, the life you desire. At all, boils down to you, believing your brain's thoughts, as facts as gospel.*

[00:01:31] And you're not questioning. That's why you keep producing the same results over and over and over again. Today, I am teaching you how to recognize your truth versus a thought. So you can start to see when your brain is confusing your truth with thoughts. And how to adjust truth or the facts in your favor.

[00:01:54] Let's start with thoughts. Thoughts are your minds opinions. They are perceptions and what [00:02:00] our brains servers scientifically is negative 90% of the time and wildly untrue. The thoughts that you think in your head are not universal truths. Most of the thoughts that we have about ourselves on a day-to-day basis feel like factual observations. We feel like we are observing the truth about ourselves.

[00:02:22] Like we are watching an animal in the zoo, making notes about its behavior. It is impossible to action your way out of a limiting thought your thoughts create the reality that you have now.

[00:02:37] But truth booth, the thoughts that we have about ourselves, aren't factual observations at all. They are stories. The story we tell ourselves about ourselves, become who we are. Every single day were telling ourselves stories about ourselves. The way that I like to look at this is you are reporting the news to yourself about yourself.

[00:02:59] [00:03:00] This news update that you have in your head going all the time. It informs how you go through the world. If you are giving yourself the news on you, why not make it the best news ever? All thoughts are almost never grounded in logical or objective reality or truth.

[00:03:22] And when you don't question your thoughts. You take them at face value without checking in does this serve me? How does this feel? Is this current or is this outdated?

[00:03:32] If you are not stepping in to be the news anchor for what is being broadcast inside your head 24 7, you have a drunk toddler giving you the news on who you are and what you need to be doing and how to operate in the world.

[00:03:47] You are listening to the sentences in your mind and you are just believing them without any sort of inquiry.

[00:03:52] I say drunk toddler, when it comes to our brain or our mind. *You want to think of your mind as a three-year-old *[00:04:00] *child who only wants to be loved, accepted, and nurtured.*

[00:04:03] * When your mind doesn't believe it's receiving these things, or your mind thinks that your safety could be compromised. It immediately goes into long-held survival patterns. It uses fear, judgment, blame, worry, guilt, and shame based thinking to protect you. Your mind no longer needs to be so hard on itself* and to use these long-held survival patterns.

[00:04:33] What happens when your brain believes these thoughts as facts, then it goes to work and it looks for evidence to reinforce them. I have a whole podcast episode on this, about our reticular activating system. I will put a link to it in the show notes.

[00:04:48] *An example is. * Let's say, you said no to attending your neighbors, Stella and.party. And then they didn't wave at you when they drove by your house. Your brain is like, look, here's evidence. [00:05:00] They hate you. You are the worst. You should continue being a people pleaser.

[00:05:03] I want you to bring awareness to what it is that you are telling yourself without questioning it., like, what are all the thoughts that you are believing as truth. *And the best way for you to do that is to slow it down and to write down what it is that you are thinking about.*

[00:05:21] *I encourage you to do this with a pen and paper, because scientifically it slows down your brain. An analogy for you: thinking about things in your head is like poop, that's floating and the toilet bowl. It's like floating at the top.*

[00:05:37] *And what we want to do is we want to flush the turds. Human brains, have a tendency to cheat on. you just like, oh no, no, no. I can just think about it and not actually put pen to paper. So when I'm asking you to do let's flush the turds, get a clean toilet bowl and write down your thinking.*

[00:05:52] * When I write down those thoughts and I don't hide. And I tell myself the truth. Some of the thoughts that come out of *[00:06:00] *me are. Amazing astonishing, because I didn't even realize that is some of the news that I'm letting inform my life right now. *

[00:06:10] *This can be challenging because your brain hides these thoughts from you. These thoughts are informing all the results in your life. What neural pathways you take in your brain. If we're thinking about like a traffic report and roads, it's why it's told you your whole life, that your thoughts are facts, because it keeps you safe and it keeps you efficient.*

[00:06:32] This is why having your own one-on-one coach is so important. There are things your brain is thinking that you're not. Scene that need to be questioned. If you want to create different results. This is why I have one-on-one coaches.

[00:06:46] If you keep believing the same thoughts, if you keep believing them as fact, and if you don't even know which thoughts are creating your results and you're not questioning them and you're not changing them, you will stay [00:07:00] exactly where you are.

[00:07:00] You have to question the thoughts that you believe are facts. If you continue to stay here where you are, if you don't get the help you need in order to see this, in order to have this awareness and in order to make these You will not change your results permanently.

[00:07:15] Having the best neuro-plasticity process is going to be what exponentially changes these outcomes for you.

[00:07:21] A thought is harmless, unless we believe it and it is not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering, attaching to a thought means that believing it's true without questioning it.

[00:07:32] And a belief is just a thought that we have been thinking over and over and over, and that we've been attaching to most likely for years.

[00:07:39] Some questions that I like to ask myself, who am I with this thought? When I think this, how do I feel? What do I do? Who would I be without this thought? How would I feel? Which do I prefer life with this thought or life without this thought? Which feels kinder? Which feels more peaceful? Which is more useful to [00:08:00] me in my life right now.

[00:08:01] If it's not propelling you towards your future expansion, it is not for you.

[00:08:07] You always want to question your thoughts, even if they are facts that can be proven in a court of law.

[00:08:12] It may be true in this moment, but you want to ask yourself, does it serve you to think this way? What else might be true? How would my highest and best self interpret this? Or if I were cultivating compassion for myself, How would I approach this?

[00:08:28] Is this current or outdated? Meaning maybe at one point, this was current, my current thinking, but like, is it outdated now?

[00:08:36] You have a choice, whether or not you are going to accept any thoughts as facts.

[00:08:41] So it could be a fact that you have a thousand dollars in your checking account, but if thinking that thought brings you into a state of panic, drop the thought and then consider what is equally true that you could be thinking that would feel so much better.

[00:08:56] * We want to be asking ourselves the questions to really *[00:09:00] *see what the story is that we're telling ourselves and then rewrite it, evaluate and ask yourself, is that even fucking true?*

[00:09:07] This week I was coaching a client on dating and how whenever someone stops responding to him or relationship ends that they were just intimidated by how awesome he is. And they weren't ready for the power that he brings to a relationship. Now, is that true? I don't know. Maybe sometimes, it really doesn't matter. That sets my client free So he stopped focusing on the people that no longer wanted to date him.

[00:09:34] When you do this, you let this idea that you need to know the truth, about what happened, go. And instead you think what is my truth?

[00:09:42] What's the best thing that serves me?

[00:09:44] *We got to stop believing that if something is true, you have to think it. You actually don't have to think anything.*

[00:09:50] *No one can make you. You can think anything you want. No one can stop you. it's the tool that will get us the farthest and is the most liberating. You can think whatever you want and no *[00:10:00] *one can stop you from doing it.* so stop Thinking about whether your thoughts are true or not, and think about whether they are helpful.

[00:10:09] Are they useful? Helpful matters more than true every time?

[00:10:13] A great way that you can test this for yourself is to see how it feels in your body.